To be honest, I don’t trust him. Okay, maybe that’s a bit broad and harsh, so let me be more specific. I don’t trust that my 4 year old will not squash the baby. In fact, I live in fear that I will avert my gaze for a millisecond and be faced with a death scene when I look back.
It’s not that he hates the baby, or is a violent child, but he’s four and male and struggling a little with sharing the attention. He throws himself around the lounge, bouncing from one corner to the next, on and off and the couches. Mostly his movements are intentional, conscious, but at times he enters a world of his own and isn’t faintly aware of the objects or people that surround him. He trips on the play gym, stumbles on top of the rocker and inadvertently kicks the rattle across the room.
There’s also the bath scene, which includes husband, older child and baby, though drowning, rather than squashing, is the primary concern here. My big boy pulls ‘playfully’ at the baby’s legs (call me paranoid, but I think he knows exactly what he’s doing and just how firm he can be before having me scream at him in panic and anger). He pours warm water over the baby’s belly in what ought to be a gentle, thoughtful gesture, only the water gradually gets poured from greater heights and inches closer and closer towards the baby’s face.
What are the statistics surrounding the number of ‘accidental’ deaths each year involving babies and their siblings? You know the headline: “Big brother brutally bruises brain of baby”. Is four years old too young to be tried, convicted and sent to juvie? My husband is more trusting of our big boy and less anxious about death scenes. In fact, on reading this, he will probably be googling ‘Parental paranoia: signs, symptoms and treatment options’.
