I have three and I haven’t always liked them, or agreed with them. We’ve kicked, scratched, screamed and hurtled objects and insults at each other, mostly when we were younger. We’ve teased, tormented and tortured. So why introduce a second child to a family when all of the afore-mentioned awaits (or is that just my family?)
We deliberated for a while about a second child and one of the things that weighed in favour of having another was just this – so that our Big Boy would have a sibling. Now I know that ‘onlys’ can and do turn out just fine thank you very much, but there is so much that can be learned and gained from having a sibling and there’s something in it for the parents too!
Whilst my entrance into a room brings a smile to the baby’s face, it quickly turns into a desperate attempt to get to me and rip my top off (breastfeeding continues, in case you were wondering what this bizarre behaviour is about). I have to work for the chuckles and the squeals of delight, at times praying that there is no hidden camera in the house or curious neighbour walking by to witness the charade. The Big Boy, on the other hand, merely has to show his face, or simply go about being who he is in order to elicit a beaming, gummy smile from the baby. The joy and excitment that the baby experiences when his big, noisy, adoring brother is around is palpable and beautiful, and, at present, nothing can replace that.
Siblings also bring benefits in the form of respite for the parents (and let’s all face it, a little respite goes a hell of a long way!). The Big Boy can jiggle a rattly toy in his face to pacify him on a long car trip, or give us a sleep/wake/position update as we travel, to save our necks and backs from awkward twisting. He can sit behind him on the floor in case of an overbalance and subsequent head bang. He can entertain while we busy ourselves with house work or escaping (under the pretence of picking herbs from the garden). And as they get older the Big Boy can, fingers crossed, play nicely with him, teach him things and read to him.
There is no doubt that my energy and patience have been spread thinner with the introduction of a second child, my body is further worn and the opportunities for time to myself, or even couple time, are fewer. There is more noise, more mess and bigger bills. But there are two little and not so little boys growing up together, who, despite the inevitable and necessary battles, biffos and bruises that await, will be buddies – there to share things and experiences with each other and to trade secrets when it comes to hiding stuff from mum and dad. One day they might be Uncles, helping to raise and nurture each other’s kids. Uncles, hey? Oh, the mischief, the glorious mischief that lies ahead for these siblings…
