Let’s pretend that all is well. Yes, life with a newborn and an energetic four year old male is ‘challenging’. True, it isn’t ideal having to get up during the winter nights to feed, change and settle. You’re right when you say that giving birth can seriously mess with your body. But all is well. We smile gently, use soft, careful language and tread lightly on the surface of reality, because to delve any deeper might make people feel uncomfortable.
‘And how are you?’ Translation: ‘Let’s keep this superficial and pleasant. I’ll play the part of check-out-chick and you can be the customer. I don’t expect any more than a casual, vague and positive response, and you just go along with it. Okay? Lovely.’
It’s easier for all, isn’t it, to pretend that life is la-di-da, than to dare enter a discussion that is based on truth and is potentially awkward, upsetting or, god forbid, actually helpful. There is a place for supermarket exchanges, I admit. It’s not always appropriate to discuss the ins and outs of your ups and downs with strangers or acquaintances. The time or place is not always conducive to such interactions and you don’t always feel like opening up that can of worms and weakening the flood gates.
Thing is, sometimes you need to, and all it takes is a pair of genuine listening ears to ease some of the burden that is pretending.
